We often feel that outside forces affect our performance. We are blaming our luck, the weather, and even other people. Why do we do this? What kind of mindset does this reflect? What would be the ideal reaction in these situations? The goal of this article is to answer all these questions.
Blaming or no blaming
Imagine this. You are playing a card game with someone (maybe on the internet, so you can’t even see your opponent and probably never will). The early part of the game goes well, you build up a small advantage, this makes you happy and confident. Then something goes wrong, a small setback or failure, that will snowball into the loss of your lead and cost you the game in the end. You just lost and don’t really know why. How do you react?
People with poor mindset will react the only way they can. They are going to blame some outside of their control. They can blame their luck for getting poor cards, the opponent for dirty moves or having a better hand. This can happen quite often, not just in card games and it probably happened to you at some point in your life as well.
The blame game
People with poor mindset will often react to a loss with blaming. It doesn’t matter what or who, but they have to blame someone. Why do they do it?
First of all, blaming is easier than admitting a mistake. When we blame, the pressure of the failure seems lighter, maybe even some responsibility can be avoided as well. But the most important thing we use blaming as an excuse to reduces the failure’s effect on our ego. It sounds something like this: “The reason this happened is BLANK. It is not my fault, I’m still good at this. Hey, maybe I’m even the best around here.” If these sound familiar your mindset needs adjusting.
Not being good or making mistakes can be infuriating for some. People can often do violent outburst do things that are signs of poor sportsmanship, short temper, and aggression. One of the most infamous examples is John McEnroe, former #1 tennis player in the world. You can find videos of his tantrums on the internet, here’s an example.
Blaming and tantruming are signs of a poor mindset. People like this have a solid or even unquestionable opinion about their abilities. They are good and they are ready to prove it to the world. They are not ready to admit defeat and mistakes, but when they happen all they hear and see is that they are not perfect. The idea of their abilities are questionable and there is still room for improvement is a hard one to swallow so they blame instead, as it is easier. Their mind is on proving themselves, instead of improving. They feel they are victims of outside forces.
People with an active mindset will treat a loss as another learning opportunity. They go back, analyze and learn from the experience. They know that their decisions are not perfect, but still trying to do their best and improve doing it. They accept things that are out of their control and focus on the things they can control. They only blame themselves. They know that they are NOT victims of outside forces.
The story of Micheal Jordan reflects this mindset perfectly. He was rejected from the high school and the college basketball team, but he did become the best basketball player ever. How? This quote sums it up well.
“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan
Outside forces are often NOT the reason we fail, lose or suffer defeat, but us. Blaming things outside of our control and are the signs of a poor mindset. Learning from defeat and improving continuously is the mindset of a champion. If you found this article valuable or useful, I’d like to ask you to share it with someone. It costs nothing and it will help our site to grow. If you have any thoughts or would like to start a conversation you can do that by leaving a comment or writing me an email.
About the authorGabor Hosszu is the founder and head article writer of Goals Infinite. Being passionate about personal development and helping others were the main reasons he launched this site. By trade Gabor is a mechanical engineer. His hobbies include being a chilli farmer, a video game nerd and a wannabe beer expert.