One of my life goals is to become a public speaker. I always thought of it as a rewarding trade. Motivation and inspiring people with your stories, experience and ideas is a job that makes the world a better place each time you stand on the stage. I always wanted to try to give a motivational speech for a room of people who’s there to listen to what I have to say.
Last year a chance was handed to me to take my first steps to becoming a public speaker. Without much hesitation, I took this chance and on November 30, 2016, I gave my first motivational speech to a room full of 70 lovely people. It is about depression, goal setting and how these two clashed in the early days of my professional life.
Have you ever felt the weight of a thousand tonnes? Imagine lying on the floor under this enormous pressure that immobilises you head, your body and your limbs. This is how I felt every morning while I was fighting depression and it took me six months to figure out what was my life missing and beat it once and for all.
It all started in 2013, I was a young engineer with a fresh mechanical engineer degree in my hand and I was really eager to join the workforce. Learning new skill, learning about new technologies and meeting new people, that was really important to me at that point. I remember one of professors saying: “Be sure to pick your first job well, so you can continue learning even after school.” This really resonated with me, because at that point I wanted to become the best engineer I could be.
Soon I found a job at an international company, I received training regularly, I was learning about new products, new technologies and I had to work with people from all around Europe. So, this was everything I expected it to be, but soon I noticed that something was off. You know that there is something wrong with your job when your favourite day is Friday, right?
As I received less and less training I had to deal with similar problems over and over again. Soon, my days turned into a routine instead of a continuous learning experience. This made my early motivation fade away and soon I realised I’m doing a mediocre job. So, I told myself: “Wait a second, Gabor. This is not the engineer you always wanted to be.”
What do we do when things are not going our way? We often come up with excuses and blame something. That is exactly what I did, I blamed my environment.
Have you ever heard the phrase that you are the average of the five people you spend most of your time with? So, if I’m spending my time with demotivated people who do a mediocre job, I’ll end up somebody who is demotivated and do a mediocre job. At this point of my life, I was highly disappointed with my professional career. And this disappointment so spiralled into depression. Cold and dark depression. Every morning it was a struggle to get out of bed, util it felt like the weight of a thousand tonnes. Often I lost this battle and I didn’t even show up at work.
Of course, people around me noticed this. I had to explain myself to the general manager and to the company leader as well.Luckily my wife noticed this as well. when we were on a date one evening she wanted to help so she started to ask questions because she is a kind soul.
Luckily my wife noticed this as well. When we were on a date one evening she wanted to help so she started to ask questions because she is a kind soul.
And one of her questions was: “Honey, what kind of short term goal do you have right now?”
I was shocked. First, I was shocked that how dare she asks me that dumb questions and I was shocked by that fact that I had no answer. I had no goals in my life.
Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t all about goal setting and achieving before, but every point in my life I had a challenge or an obstacle in front of me that I had to overcome. Get into collage, get a girlfriend, finish your education, get a job get married. All these goals were set for me by the natural progression of life and my parent’s example. But not this time, I had no goals. I realised that the lack of goals, the lack of direction was the reason for my depression, not my environment.
So, later that night I was sitting at the edge of my bed, alone, in complete silence and I asked myself what is the next thing I want to achieve in my life. I dedicated the next seven days to come up with meaningful goals that are worth working for. First, I created a clear vision of who I want to be. What does Gabor do in the future? From this vision, it was easier to reverse-engineer some meaningful goals.
For example future, Gabor lives a much healthier life. So set a goal for me to lose weight through diet and exercises. I already lost 9 kgs and I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol in the past two mounts. Future Gabor also spends his time better. so in the past six I’ve read 10 books, which is 5 times more than I read in the past 10 years. And finally my future self has a message. A message he can spread to help people better their lives. I choose this message to be the importance of goals and goal setting inour lives.
So, on the 1st of January 2016, I launched a website dedicated to this message. It’s called Goals Infinite. and every week there are new article to help people set their goals and acheive them.
My father is a really wise guy. He always told me: “Smart people learn from their mistakes, but smarter people learn from other people’s mistakes as well.”
I made the mistake of not having goals in my life and I paid a pretty hefty emotional price for it. But will you learn from my mistake? So, tonight when you are at home alone, sitting at the edge of your bed, just like i did. Ask yourself the questions: What is the next thing you want to achieve in your life? And make sure to have an answer, so you’ll never have to feel the weight of a tousand tonnes.
About the authorGabor Hosszu is the founder and head article writer of Goals Infinite. Being passionate about personal development and helping others were the main reasons he launched this site. By trade Gabor is a mechanical engineer. His hobbies include being a chilli farmer, a video game nerd and a wannabe beer expert.